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So there I am in Chaos west, beside my freshly waxed Terrier... I take a moment to perform a quick systems check. Yep, firing button still taped down. There's a whole bunch of other controls and readouts, but I've never needed them.

As I re-enter normal space I find myself within striking range of another ship. The pilot's name appears on my scanner in yellow, the color of cowards. Perfect! I angle my ships around so that the stream of bullets I constantly emit will strike him. He doesn't even move. He must realize his death is inevitable. WHAT?!? My bullets went right through him! Impossible! He must be cheating! I'll have him banned from the spaceways for this! I tell him off over the radio and he says I'm on his team. Like I'd join up with a cheater like him.

Whew! That was close. I nearly hit one of those omnipresent green things. "Omnipresent" -- cool word, eh? I got it off my word-a-day dictionary that's taped over that stupid energy bar thing. My bullets aren't firing as fast as they were before. I don't know why this always happens. My guns must get tired. I see a ship so pathetic that it can't even dodge those green things so I go after it. My bullets are streaking towards it... it can't possibly escape. What?!? It moved. To the side. How can he be doing that? All my shots missed... wait, they're bouncing. Nope, they missed again. Now he's firing. One little bomb can't hurt me, so no need to dodge.

BOOM! I died. Damn cheaters.

A new ship and I'm ready to rock. Only this ship is so slow. People keep running away from me. Cowards. I wish there were a way to make it go faster. I know! I'll kill people in that tunnel! I get into the tunnel on my third try and move from side to side as I unleash my bullets, creating a cloud of death from which none shall escape! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait, why are those bullets yellow? And coming back at me?

BOOM! I died. Damn cheaters.

A new ship and I'm ready to rock. This one only has yellow bullets, but that's alright because a buddy of mine just told me about a megaweapon called a Burst. He says that he has three of them, but I've only got two. He might be cheating. I see two guys fighting each other in a wide open space, with no one around. I charge at them. No one escapes me and my megaweapons! I fly right between them and shoot off both bursts. I'm taking hits from both of them but that's ok cause I'll take them with me, even if I die. What?!? The burst didn't hurt them! They MUST be cheating! I better go before they....

BOOM! I died. Damn cheaters.

A new ship and I'm ready to rock. I see a ship collide with one of those nasty greens and now he's spinning reeaaal slow. What a moron. I fly up to him, guns blazing and he EXPLODES! YES! I RULE! I RULE! I don't think everyone realizes how much I rule, so I tell them all. Uh oh. Why does my bounty thing say 31? Agh! I ran over that guy's green thing. I better recycle my ship before I'm destroyed.

A new ship and I'm ready to rock....